Increasingly passive-aggressive season worried city won’t get the hint in time for Valentine’s day

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In a last-ditch effort to force residents to pay attention to the climate, Mother Earth has brought forth another significant snowfall event surrounding a holiday.

After the moderate success of the pre-Christmas ice storm, and the subsequent climate attention, Mother Nature again feels as though she is being neglected and wants us to know it. Periodic and consistent snowfalls haven’t done as much as she’d hoped, so now she is unleashing another all out snow event in the hopes that maybe this time we will learn our lesson.

Residents thus far seem to have ignored the hint, using gas powered snow blowers and tractors to clear already significant snowbanks. Idling cars could be found throughout the region spewing carbon into her atmosphere while their owners waited patiently for the car to be “warm enough” to drive.

Mother Nature, while normally placid, is becoming understandably livid at the rejections.

“Warm? You want warm?” She fumed. “If you had any idea the warmth I’ve got in store for you, you’d be running around like a last-minute gift buyer.”

Indeed, trends show that her patience is beginning to wear thin, and that overall temperatures are beginning to rise planet-wide. It remains to be seen how far she can be pushed before her passive-aggression turns into outright aggression, and we are begin to experience the same climate-related lessons as seen in other areas of the globe.

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